The Narcissistic Nature Of Being An Entrepreneur

Starting something - anything - requires a real dedication.  A lining up with a life's purpose and a significant sacrifice in other parts of your life. It also requires guts and determination.

When you think about it, though, it also requires that you fall in love with your idea and, in so doing, with yourself.  Because on the tough days when things feel headed down the toilet, only you will be singing the praises of your idea.  And if you stop singing, well, you won't even need to flush.

If you aren't familiar with the term "narcissism", you may at least know that it has a negative connotation.  Its origins lie in greek mythology and tells the story of a boy, Narcissus, who falls in love with an image of himself in a pool, not realizing it is a reflection of himself.  The modern use of the term is to characterize people who think mostly of themselves.  Self-absorbed.  Sound like someone you know?

My point here is that I don't see how you can be an entrepreneur without spending some serious time staring in the pool.  The difference, of course, is the purpose for your visit to the pool. How many of us have looked in the bathroom mirror before a presentation or big meeting and said to yourself:  "You can do this.  Go kick some tail out there".  Being a cheerleader for yourself and for your idea or company may be narcissistic, but full of larger purpose, it is pragmatic and necessary.

What do you think?

So, why am I writing about narcissism?  Well, I saw a quote the other day from Albert Einstein that I had forgotten but had once guided some of my decisions.  The quote?

Only a life lived for others is worth living.

Kind of socks me in the gut every time I read it.  My issue is that this sentiment runs headlong into a typical entrepreneurial mindset, does it not?  If you are working 12-16 hours a day trying to build your business, what time is there left to help others?  Really.

Well, certainly building a company can add jobs in the long term.  And building up a large workforce helps the economy.  Also, once you become CEO of your own creation, you get to choose how you treat your employees and their families.  You can have a big impact on a lot of people.

You can also, I guess, steer your company toward community pursuits.  A non-profit perhaps.  You can take the Paul Newman approach and give your profits (or a portion) to charity.  That works.  How about starting a company that supports the new green economy?

But there is another aspect that still bugs me a bit.  And it has to do with this blogging business and social media in general.  But it really stretches to include more than that.  The aspect?

The need for self-promotion

You see, blogging is a highly crowded arena.  It's like being a drop of water in a 40 foot wave breaking on the shore of Oahu.  Every other drop of water is trying to be bubbling white on the crest of the wave and shimmering in the Hawaiian sun. Of course, there are no elbows being thrown.  Everyone is very nice. And everyone is wiling to help you find your way.  It is just a sheer battle of will and determination.

So the ones who succeed, as far as I can tell, do so by being excellent self-promoters.  They also tend to have started a number of years ago when the market was less busy and they have built a following with excellent content.  Original, useful and/or personal content.

I've struggled a bit with the self-promotion part.  You see, I've always wanted to have a curtain of humility over things I've done in my personal life.  "If people like what I've done/written, they tell others and, over time, those others will come."  The problem is this is not a static market.  In fact, it is always changing.  I've learned that if you are not self-focused to some extent, the 40 ft wave will pick you up, drop you in the sand and drag you out to sea.  OK, that's a bit dramatic, but it can feel that way.

So, if you are someone who is not ready to self-promote in the traditional way, you need to find a way to do it that works with your philosophy. But, I'm afraid, if you don't do it you'll struggle.  There are some I've seen that are really good at it.  My first reaction to them was one of consternation. The arrogance!  But I've met a few of them and they are actually really nice people . . .

Yes, there is a narcissism in social media as well as in traditional entrepreneurial ventures.  You have to believe in yourself even when it looks like you shouldn't.  And you have to tell people about what you are doing in ways that might make you uncomfortable.  Or not.

So, don't be afraid to look in the pool.  If you fall in love, don't sweat it.  And, remember, you'll need all the love you can get on those days when no one seems to be listening, buying your product . . . 

. . . or reading your blog posts.  :-)

Comments

[Jason W. Womack, MEd, MA]

Love...This...Post.

Thank you!

[Tim Tyrell-Smith]

Jason - Great! Thanks for letting me know. The feedback really helps!

[Lae Won]

Good post, but why assume that Einstein's advocacy of selflessness is worthy advice?

[Tim Tyrell-Smith]

A fair question. I guess because I believe that, in the end, some altruism should be guiding my life's work. "Helping others" is certainly not a requirement to succeed in business unless you consider solving problems, adding value, etc as fitting nicely under that umbrella. And even if that effort is really only a means to an end.

Thanks for the comment. I appreciate your question!

[Isabelle Ayel]

Yes, you are always selling something and more often than you may like you sell yourself.
I love the name of your blog! Congrats.

[Tim Tyrell-Smith]

Thanks Isabelle. The blog name is inspired by Don Quixote who, despite being mad, took action on his ideas. Something I avoided for 20 years. Glad you like it . . .