If you have small children, please cover their eyes or quickly escort them out of the room. I cannot be responsible for what action they may take upon reading this post. I'm not talking fire and brimstone, but it won't be pretty.
You see, this idea is a tool for parents to educate their kids on the right things to do and the right way to act in this world. If you are a parent who already has your kids on the straight and narrow, feel free to shift back to
You Tube. For the rest of us, I have an idea that might just get the right message across to our kids and be the solution that curbs childhood behavior forever.
Before you call
Oprah to book me in the next open slot, let's all realize that there is no real solution here. But there are ways and there are better ways.
As background, I have three kids (12, 10 and 10). They are wonderful but not perfect. OK, honestly, they can be frustrating and illogical on some days. One day, a number of years ago, I got tired of my raised voice and decided I wanted to provide a punishment with a purpose. We were up in
Bass Lake, CA visiting the grandparents and one of my kids was being disrespectful to Grandma (completely unacceptable, right?).
So instead of a "timeout" or "no tv" or "no lake time", I gave him a project. His project was to:
- Look up the word respect in the dictionary and write the definition on a piece of paper.
- Based on the dictionary's words, write his own definition (in his words).
- Interview Grandma asking questions like: "how did it make you feel when I . . ."
- Ask yourself: why was I so angry at the time when I said those things?
- Ask yourself: what could I have done differently for next time?
Now depending on the age of your child, these questions may be asking too much. But I think there is a version of these questions that can work. Once he was done, my son read me his paper and we talked about it. The kicker for me? I was now having a calm discussion with my son instead of feeling bad about raising my voice and, by the way, completing losing him be being angry. So here's my idea. A website where kids can learn the key lessons in life through a structured internet based mini-study. I'm not talking about Dr. James Dobson stuff here. Just good basic, respectful behavior. Topics would include kindness, respect, caring, no bullying, etc.
I'll call it Lessons for Kids™
Would you use this? If not, what are your best tools to teach these lessons?
If you are an internet entrepreneur, lessonsforkids.com is available based on a quick search . . . send me an e-mail and I'll tell you more!
Where the heck was this idea when YOU were a kid? You were the biggest brat!! And that is a objective observation, just saying!
Seriously, the kids are too old, except Sammie and she never does anything wrong. But CLAIRE! Now there is one a whole study could be done around in a year or so!! We could actually call this the "Claire Ultimatum"!
By the way, in case you were wondering, it made me feel enraged when you laughed at me after I punched you. Brat.
Posted by: Lisa the Sister | November 28, 2008 at 09:37 AM
Ah, the power of family encouragement. BTW I was not a brat . . . Thanks Sis!
Posted by: Tim Tyrell-Smith | November 28, 2008 at 11:48 AM
Love the comment by your sister! I like this idea. My mom used a similar approach to my sister and I when we fought [sit down and talk about it] - which worked wonders. We never wanted to sit down and talk again so we avoided fighting. I think this needs to be added to my project list.
Posted by: LaNiMeRLiNa | March 09, 2010 at 11:22 AM